Kiss and Tell


I just finished opening inmate mail. I not only feel dirty, but I now smell like a two-dollar hooker. And it won't wash off. The things that come through the mail not only disgust me, but they sometimes amuse me.

That, however, is another story for another time.

So I've been bebopping around today with Cher singing the song "It's In His Kiss" in my head.

It's not nearly as cute as my son's version of "Dirty Underwear", but it's stuck in my head nonetheless.




I had to insert this picture for Canadian Bald Guy, who was sweet enough to watch The Notebook this weekend for his Sunshine
Which obviously has me thinking about kisses and kissing.

Or maybe I'm thinking about kisses and kissing, which is why I have that song in my head......

Either way, I'm thinking about one and whistling the other.

Which is silly because I haven't had anything more than a platonic or a family kiss in more than three months.

Maybe that's not so silly, maybe that's the root of it.

Who knows. But onto the kissing.

So, kissing is a big thing for me. When I even think about being interested in a guy, that's one of the first things I think of. I imagine kissing him. If the thought isn't appealing to me, then there's my answer as to how I feel about him. If I'm not sure, maybe it is, maybe it isn't, then I should give him a chance and see if there's anything there. And obviously, if the thought is appealing, then I should definitely give him a chance.

A kiss says a lot, to me.

How a guy kisses you, when a guy kisses you, where a guy kisses you, and where a guy's hands are when he kisses you says a lot to me.

For example, if the first thing he does is shove his tongue down my throat, he's not interested in me, he's interested in what he hopes to do to me.

Next please.

A guy that is interested in kissing you for the right reasons is going to take his cues from you (and likewise you should take your cues from him). For example, I think the perfect kiss uses the tongue like an exclamation point. Just to accent in the right areas. Some paragraphs have more exclamation points than others. Some have none at all, it depends on the kiss and the mood. As you can tell from my writing, it's rare that you ever see "!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" come through in my personality. Therefore, kisses styled like that aren't my thing. That's my preference.

Those kinds of kisses completely ruin the kiss for me. I go from kissing a guy, to playing defense. Defense isn't meant to be a part of kissing.

Like I said, a good kiss involves two people taking cues from one another. If you can tell that he or she wants a little bit more tongue, go for it, but keep it also in your realm of enjoyment, too. Don't ruin a kiss for you just to make it good for them. It's give and take.

When a guy kisses you is also a big thing for me. There's a time and place for everything. I'm a more private person, so I don't want to be kissed in public (or especially in front of my family) by someone that I'm not in an actual relationship with. I'm, obviously, not going to make a scene if I'm on a date with someone and they do just that, but I might keep it short and within my comfort level without making him feel rejected.

If a guy continues to persist after that, I'd probably tell him my reasons and if he kept on after that, he not only doesn't respect me, but he's probably got different intentions than I have and I can do without that.

Where a guy kisses me, like physically not location-wise, is also a big thing. A kiss on the lips is pretty direct. But what about kisses elsewhere?

Forehead? Good sign.

Neck? Good sign.

Cheek? Friend sign.

I'm, personally, partial to a guy that kisses me on the forehead. Not only because that means he's likely taller than me (a weakness I have. I totally go for the tall country-boy type) but it's a sign that he cares about me and feels a sense of protection over me.

And lastly, where are his hands?

My preference is that they're around my waist. And not below the waist. I've had enough guys trying other things that, at this point, I am so turned off by someone trying to go too far with me. I am a woman worthy of love, respect, and admiration. I will walk away in a heartbeat if I get the idea that a guy thinks otherwise.

Game over.

So the waist is my preference.

Although the movie-type kiss where he puts his hands on your face or on the back of your neck or in your hair sounds dreamy, but let's be honest, this doesn't happen in real life because 99% of men just aren't that level of romantic. Or if they are, it never crosses their mind while they're kissing you.

So the waist is good.

For some reason hands on my waist make me feel small and arms around my waist make me feel protected.

Being a single mom I have to be the one who fixes everything and does everything and keeps everything going. All battles are fought by me. All work is done by me. All stress is channeled through me. So from time to time, I want to feel like someone else is willing to at least fight a fight for me. I want to feel like someone else will take care of me if I ever put my guard down enough to let them.

So those are my kissing preferences. I won't tell you just now what brought them all to my mind, but I will tell you my preferences at least.

Now it's your turn to tell me what yours are!
Ashley Wife & Mom

Ashley is a thirty-something wife and mother of two boys. She enjoys spending time with her family, as well as reading and decorating their home. Her blogging adventures began in 2006 as a single mother and have carried on through marriage and a new life with a husband, a ten-year-old, and an infant.