The Blame Game


I cranked my computer up this morning for my daily checking of messages, comments, email, and breaking-news. This, of course, includes Twitter as I discover more breaking news on there than I do any of the other tabs that load with my morning coffee.

One thing that catches my eye is a tweet by @singleparentdad.

There was a recent drowning in Oklahoma that affected a family-member of mine, so out of curiosity I click on the link and read the story.

My heart goes out to the family....I can not even begin to imagine how much my heart would break to lose my sweet little boy (any mom knows they can call up tears just even thinking about thinking about such a thing!)

Ty disappeared for about a minute at church the other night. He was in the front of the church climbing on the sign and I went 20 feet away, still in sight of him, to get something out of my car. When I looked back up to where he was, all the other children were there except Ty.

Of course, I first check the highway in front of the church to make sure he's not wandered that direction and I look down both sides of the church, calling for him and asking others if they'd seen him. I go inside the front of the church and back out again. At the point I start to really panic he comes into the church foyer through the sanctuary and my fear melts.

Sixty seconds of fear. I didn't even have time (thankfully) for it to build up into a full-blown teary panic. But it was long enough to know my life is forever changed because of him and that I could never begin to imagine life without him.

And these parents have lost their precious child for forever.

But I agree with the judge.

Their child's death was not the fault of the park that they took their holiday at. Losing Ty was not the church's fault. I should have either made him walk to the car with me or I should have put him in the direct care of someone old enough to watch him for that 10 seconds I was gone.

Ultimately it comes down to our responsibility as parents and I agree with the judge that it's not fair, nor is it right, to try to put the blame elsewhere simply because #1--there's comfort in being able to blame someone other than yourself, and #2--there's monetary compensation in being able to blame someone else.

This is one of my biggest pet peeves. Adults who accept responsibility--be it for a job or a child or a vehicle or a relationship--and then shirk it off and blame someone else when things go awry. If we accept responsibility in the first place, we need to maintain it in the end.

It may not be easy, it may make things uncomfortable or painful....but it is the respectable thing to do.
Ashley Wife & Mom

Ashley is a thirty-something wife and mother of two boys. She enjoys spending time with her family, as well as reading and decorating their home. Her blogging adventures began in 2006 as a single mother and have carried on through marriage and a new life with a husband, a ten-year-old, and an infant.