Free to Be Me
Believe me, I get that more than I wish I did.
To be "good enough" for those that mean so much to us...we have dreams about it. We read books and watch movies about it. We all want to measure up to those that we love and admire.
We all have people in our lives and in our pasts that we just could never be good enough for. We might have been good...just not good enough and definitely not the favorite.
I don't brag on my husband enough, but this is one thing I can brag on him about.
He accepts me.
I'm controlling and opinionated and stubborn as the day is long.
And he deals with that and loves me anyway.
He was made for me.
He's a 'video-game addict', but that's because God knew that I would need my downtime. I love books and I love computers, and sometimes I just like being alone and God knew that I wouldn't work well in a co-dependent relationship so He gave my husband a hobby that he enjoys and that he could share with Ty. So He created my husband with this 'addiction' that I'm perfectly okay with. And a little thankful for, too, if we're being honest.
God also knew that I would need to be able to express myself endlessly but that I would accept basically no advice on how to 'fix' things that bother me. So instead of giving me a husband with the typical 'fix it' type of mentality that many men have, He gave me one who would listen and rub my back or give me a hug but would—for the most part—keep his suggestions to himself. And because of that, I find that I pay better attention to what he says when he does make requests or give suggestions—like asking me to adjust my privacy settings on Facebook or reword certain things in my blogs (he's my filter, this will be one of the very few blogs that I post before asking him to read it and give his blessing on it).
God molded my husband to be this way because my Daddy is the same way. Just this week I felt like emptied my heart in my Daddy's ear and he just listened. He didn't tell me what I did wrong or right. He didn't pick apart my words and make me question myself. He didn't fluff up my ego and make me feel validated. He just listened.
I would do well to remember how invaluable that was to me the next time someone else unburdens themselves to me.
God also created my husband with a healthy dose of inner-nerd. Even though he keeps it far more hidden from much of his family and friends than I, personally, wish he did. I'm all about the 'owning who you are' because I am so over people who judge you for who you are. Or aren't.
He doesn't hide who he is because he's ashamed of it, though, it just doesn't apply to everyone in his life. And it balances me that he is that way because when that particular 'give a damn' broke in my life, I would probably be a lot less tolerable to others if he didn't reign me in a little bit. This is a good thing, even if I don't always appreciate it. He loves me and my every little quirk. But he helps keep those little quirks from getting me in trouble.
He's my filter.
He's my other half.
He's my best friend.
I'm so thankful he builds upon me, balances me, directs me, and accepts me.
Ashley is a thirty-something wife and mother of two boys. She enjoys spending time with her family, as well as reading and decorating their home. Her blogging adventures began in 2006 as a single mother and have carried on through marriage and a new life with a husband, a ten-year-old, and an infant.