When you come to meet my baby


Beckett Dean will be making his appearance into this world in just a few short weeks.  With his impending arrival, naturally my thoughts have turned to all the ways that our lives are about to change forever.  The added expenses that terrify me, the fragility of one so small and vulnerable, the new nightly chores of sanitizing and preparing bottles for the next day's care...there's so much to think about and our time is growing nearer and nearer to meeting this little boy.

But another little boy has been very heavy on my heart, too.  Because as much as I know how greatly my life is about to change, Ty's life is about to change even more and thus far most people have only pointed out to him all the negatives.

So I'm going to be one of those moms.

When you come to meet my baby, I will have a rule that I hope each of our guests will respect.

There will not be a bottle of hand sanitizer at the door and I will not be doing nose-swabs to check you for the flu.  I will not greet you with expectations of food or gifts as the price of admission into our home.  I will not ask you to help with household chores that have gone undone (who does that?!), though it will be much appreciated if you ignore that they're undone because if you graciously and kindly start to pick up, I'll feel the need to start to pick up and instead of enjoying your visit, I'll wear myself out during it.

What I will ask of you is that you be sensitive to my first baby while you're in our home to meet our newest baby.

Ty has had months and months of everyone telling him how perfectly awful it is going to be to have a little one around the house.  He's heard endless tales of how much the baby will cry and all of the toys and belongings that will be damaged or destroyed by a little one.  He's had dirty diapers figuratively thrown in his face more times than I imagine he will actually change a diaper.  Adults have continually told him all the ways that being a big brother will change his life for the worse....and then they turn around and tell me "what a wonderful big brother Ty will be!".

I want Ty to have the opportunity to be excited about his first days as a big brother!  He deserves to see his brother as a new and wonderful addition to our family just as much as Beckett deserves to be spoken of as more than a noisy and costly inconvenience.

Ty needs to hear how wonderful it will be to have a brother—to have a life-long friend that will be there no matter what.  He needs to be reminded that when Mom & Dad struggle to get a half-hearted giggle out of Beckett, he will be able to elicit a full-belly-laugh out of his brother with ease.  Ty is entitled (and I don't ever throw that word around lightly) to the joy of knowing that he will be somebody's hero for no other reason than the fact that he is Beckett's Big Brother.  He needs to be encouraged that no matter how challenging and tiring these first few weeks with his brother will be...they will be so very worth it in the end.

So when you come to meet my baby, my one and only rule is that each of our guests please respect both of my boys.
Ashley Harris Wife & Mom

Ashley is a thirty-something wife and mother of two boys. She enjoys spending time with her family, as well as reading and decorating their home. Her blogging adventures began in 2006 as a single mother and have carried on through marriage and a new life with a husband, a ten-year-old, and an infant.