Funny story.

True story.

The Boy has been keeping insect bites in a particular area of his anatomy and the scratching-to-relieve-the-itching looks very inappropriate.

After six weeks of scratching this area continually (seriously! Why do they keep biting him on the same area!) he came home from Nana and PaPaw's with his scratcher going and I told him, "Alright, get naked and let me take a look at why you can't keep your hands off your pecker" (meaning, "Are you kidding me! You STILL have bites there!")

While he's stripping down I go finish something at the computer.

A minute later I come over to him to find his bottom lip stuck out and quivering.

His voice shook as he asked me, "You're not going to cut if off are you?"

I hugged him up to me and assured him that we don't cut tee-tees off and that I just wanted to see his bug bites and see if they needed any medicine.

At the time I was overwhelmed by how serious he looked and how distraught he was at the idea of losing his best, I laugh every time I think of it!

He's going to hate me someday when I resurrect this story for his friends and girlfriends!

Valid Excuses

So, there's a couple reasons for my lack of writing or activity this week.


A Sony Cybershot belonging to a friend of mine. I'm troubleshooting an issue with it and though I'm not sure what I'm doing, to be honest, I have a good idea of what the issue is....I just have to figure out how to crack it open to the point that I can fix it.....

Second project requiring my attention......

This the projected design of what I've spent the last two days painting on the wall in our training room upstairs.

And the thick black stripe is actually where some thinner black stripes are taped off and painted.

The logo will be painted in black and gold, like the decals on our patrol vehicles. The stripes will also be black and gold.

Here's yesterday's progress.

(Caught being goofy with a coworker)

Today, I got the "Sheriff" letters painted black on the inside and filled in the banner around the words "Dallas County"....but I'll have to post those pictures another day. Just wanted to let you know where I was and what I'm up to!

I'm hoping to have some interesting stories to relate to you after Friday night.


Manic Monday

My boss's mother passed away this past Friday, so her services are this morning at 10.

We're shutting the whole place down to a skeleton crew and basically everyone but the inmates are going to the funeral.

So, this will be quick.

First of all, how about some cuteness from our ride to school this morning?

The sun was in his face and his sunglasses were at the house, so he borrowed Mama's.

And look!!

He stopped and looked back at me this morning! He even got the door shut and stood outside of it while I rolled the window down.

"Bye, Mama"

"Bye, baby! Have fun!"

I melted completely.

And then he walked on up to the door and had one last glance back at Mama before disappearing inside.

Whether he'll miss me or not, he at least made my heart feel better!

In other news, Ty and I had a "date" with one of the teenage girls from church on Saturday.

We vegged on the couch and watched Bride Wars. Super cute movie

Of course, wedding movies always spur on wedding talk.

She asked where my dress was and wanted to see it.

The dress itself is being stored at my parents house, so I went to the computer and pulled up a few pictures I still have of me in my dress.

And Ty came over and saw.

"Mama! You're so beautiful in that dress!"

And Sarah and I both melted.

I love that kid. With all my heart and soul and every fiber of my being.

He makes my heart happy.

Important Warning!!

See this?

First, let me say, if you mention the dirt still around the outside edge of it that I noticed after I took this photo and I'm not responsible for what I may or may not do to you.....

But the point of this post is to warn you.

All of you!

Because many of you have one of these in your house and there's something you should know about this.

The only thing you ever need to do to this thing is open it, change the filter, and close it.

Do not notice the dirt, dust, or whatever else that might be stuck to the nice white paint that used to cover it beautifully.

Don't do it.

Because then you might have the idea to clean it.

It's just one vent, right?


This is not one vent.

It is three-million-six-hundred-thousand-and-ninety-two individual little slots that must be cleaned.

It is also over your head and cannot be easily taken down for more comfortable or easier cleaning.

Which means that my neck, back, and shoulders will never forgive me.

Learn from my mistakes.

When your intake vent is covered in dust and filth, just look the other way.

Or buy a new one.

Another milestone....

Today was the day!! A day late, but not a dollar short!!

Ty's first day of school was supposed to have been yesterday, but due to his tonsillitis, we delayed it till today to make sure he was going to stay fever-free.

So I set my alarm for 6:00 (instead of 6:45) and laid down last night making mental plans about how best to get us both up and around in time to have him bathed, dressed, fed, and at school on time.

However, my wake-up-call came at 5:30.


So off I trod to his room to discover he needed some water for his throat.

Easy enough and back to bed I went.

Five minutes later he's whimpering.

So back to his room.

His leg hurts. Those mean growing pains have been terrible to him lately.

I talked to him and soothed him and told him he only had a little bit longer to sleep so if he could not think about his leg, he might be able to get a few more winks. (I was planning to get him up at 6:30 so I'd have time to wash up and start my day off before I had to wake him up).

He told me he was going back to sleep.

So I went back to my bed, praying for the fifteen more minutes of sleep that I might possibly be able to get.

No dice.

So I rolled out of bed earlier than I'd planned.

The morning routine went pretty painlessly. If you didn't know any better, you'd think it was a well-greased machine.

So off to the school we went.

When we arrived, we tracked down his teacher and she told us all the things we missed out on hearing yesterday morning. Then we went to the cafeteria where they have a pre-school assembly. He didn't want to sit down, no matter how much Nana instructed him or tried to coax him (Nana & PaPaw came to see his first day, too!).

And then the teacher led them all to class.

This was the only hiccup in our day as he wanted to stay with PaPaw. But we had work and he had school.

And off he went.

My little boy.....but he's not so little any more.

This guy.....

This one right here......

He thinks his "Aunt Ashey" is pretty awesome.

And "Aunt Ashey" thinks he's pretty rockstar, too!

But what do we expect? Awesomeness runs in the family.

And this boy got a full dose of it!

I love him.

And I love that he's always, always smiling!

(By the way, I straight up stole these pictures from my sister's Facebook...I'm counting on her to forgive me because she loves me--and because she's a proud Mama, too. She's a professional photographer, so of course these images are copyrighted by Brookshire Photography.)

Boys Will Be Boys

Text messages from tonight....

Really Awesome Guy: So what's going on there?

Me: Well, Ty just told me we don't drink TeeTee or eat PooPoo and while I'm relieved to know he understands that, I'm scared to know what made him tell me that out of the blue....

Really Awesome Guy: Hmmm...a little shocking to say the least

Me: Yes....and I think I decided not to ask why he told me that...I really don't think I'd want to know....

Really Awesome Guy: Nope just let that one go

Me: Never saw that one coming though. One minute I was painting a train on his face (like on his Thomas movie) and the next he's telling me that....

Really Awesome Guy: Haha...well you can definitely use that one to embarass him when he gets older

Me: No doubt! There's definitely a blog in there somewhere, too!

Really Awesome Guy: Haha. Poor kid.

Out the Gates

It's Monday morning. Everyone's out the gates like horses at the track when the bell rings and stalls shoot open.

Except me. I'm that one green mare that kinda prances out the gate and tiptoes around.

That's how my Monday has started, except, instead of busting out at a sprint, I really want to turn around and head back to the barn.

Ty has tonsillitis.

He's been fighting fever since Friday evening. And his tonsils are huge and swollen and patchy and I've called in for some antibiotics but it might be this afternoon before they're even called into the pharmacy.

Which, I know, is how things work and I'm just being a mom and stressing and stuff.

But Baby Boy broke down on me this morning and my heart is in a million pieces over it right now. He's been such a champ all weekend, taking alternating doses of Tylenol and Ibuprofen, drinking a gallon of apple juice, eating as much as he could of whatever didn't hurt his throat. He's been a rockstar (not that I expected anything less being that he is my child).

But all ego aside, he's been great and snuggly and lovey and warm. Definitely warm.

But this morning he reached a point that I so often reach. He's tired, he's hurting, and he's just sick of being sick. So he broke down crying that his mouth hurt him (mouth, throat......close enough to the same thing for him). And it was all I could do not to break down squawling in the middle of the bathroom floor with him.

A mama's heart is just not built to endure such things.

So he's with the grandparents instead.

But that wasn't me taking the coward's way out, they said yesterday that they'd be home if I needed them to keep him. And after this morning, I do.

I'm glad, however, to report that once we got to Nana & PaPaw's house his demeanor picked up and he was able to smile and be all coy when Nana wanted a hug.

Let's hope we get these antibiotics and they knock this stuff down and help my boy out.

I have a feeling, no matter how well they work, that we won't be starting school on Wednesday. So we'll just have to try and get him better as quickly as possible and then start his new adventure in Pre-K.

In other news, I walked into work this morning to hear a deputy requesting the jaws of life on a wreck.

First thing this morning.

Before I even had my coffee.

Bad and very difficult weeks always start out this way.

Crossing my fingers that this one is different.

Matters of Confusion

Men confuse me.

I really don't need to go any further than that for the women of the world to understand, but I will.

Men don't realize what a simple statement like "for the rest of our lives" can do to a woman.

And that's not fair.

Because for us women (or most of us at least) those words from a man's mouth get us all twitterpated and smiley.

For a man, it's just a phrase in the English dictionary that may or may not equate to a long period of time.

Not fair.

Oh, and other not fair things.....when they just happen to let you know they fall into a category or two that happen to be weaknesses (of which they know).

I really shouldn't be thinking about these things, let alone over-thinking them as I am, because last I checked I was still single.

And a single woman shouldn't be getting warm-fuzzies from simple statements that lead to such mental anguish and confusion.

It's not fair.

It's torture.

But it hurts so good.

I'm Gonna Miss You

My life as I know it is about to change.

And I'm looking towards next Wednesday, our first day of school, with bittersweet tinglings in my heart.

I mean, I'm proud for my boy because he's so excited and ready to start school (for now at least) and I'm happy that he'll get to branch out, socially, and make new friends and learn even more than he's already learned these past four years.

But I'm so sad that we're already at that point of him starting school. It's like it's just the first step toward the independence he'll one day claim at the expense of my heart.

Not to mention the time on my alarm clock will have to be adjusted about a half hour just so we can get up, get fed, get dressed, and get out the door and to school on time. Especially next week when all the crazy folks come out to drive their kids to school.

I hope that one thing that doesn't change is how Ty and I part ways for the day.

Every day when I drop him off at daycare, he walks in the door and turns to me with his arms up. Depending on the wrinkle-factor of the clothes, I'll pick him up and hug him while he lays his head on my shoulder and plays with my hair, or I'll squat down to his level and he'll wrap his arms around me with his head on my shoulder and fingers in my hair.

It is the sweetest, most heart-warming part of the day.

And my very, very favorite part of the day.

I'll break down in tears the first time he denies me this sweet, special time that I cherish so much. I already know I will.

But maybe that won't happen. This year, at least.

Maybe he'll still hesitate and take time for a hug and a kiss and a snuggle before he starts his daily adventure at school.

Absentee Daddy

"Miss Ashley, Miss Ashley"

Those words broke through a conversation as I turned my focus to the sweet little face of a blond-haired, blue-eyed little beauty who was awaiting my attention.

"Yes, sweetie?"

"Ty doesn't have a daddy."

"No sweetie, he doesn't. Not yet."

My laissez-faire reaction was lost in the sharp-gasp of the mother who was completely mortified with the assumption that what her daughter said had hurt or embarrassed me.

But really? I think it's a big deal to everyone but me.

Ty doesn't have a daddy.

Ty doesn't have a father.

It's just me and Ty.

And I'm 100% okay with that.

He does have an amazing PaPaw and a pretty awesome Uncle Mike that step up to the plate until he, someday, does have a Daddy.

But he doesn't have a Daddy yet.

And really, it's okay.

I promise.

Ty's 'genetic-donor' (as I call him in a very non-hateful or spiteful way) wasn't a fling or a one night stand or some random hook-up. But he also wasn't a boyfriend or a part of a committed relationship.

What he was (and still is) is someone who was present at a time when my heart was hurting and my thought process was lacking. He was (and still is) a friend who made a decision to do something that was probably not the best idea ever, that eventually resulted in the best thing to ever happen to me.

He was (and still is) a friend.

But he's not Ty's daddy.

And I really don't even consider him Ty's father.

And don't think badly of him for my saying that either, okay? He's a good guy. I promise he is!

There were a million-and-one circumstances alight when I found out I was pregnant that I made the decision that it would be best not to publicly announce the paternity of the baby I was then-carrying.

When he heard from individuals other than me that I was pregnant, I'm certain that his reaction was terror. I mean, seriously, what twenty-something guy dreams about the day that he gets some girl knocked up and ties himself down to a baby for-the-rest-of-his-life? Especially when the girl-in-question isn't and hasn't ever even been a girlfriend.

So I don't doubt that his reaction was horror or something similar.

But I imagine that his reaction to "Ashley's not telling the Daddy" was probably a wave of relief. And I'm okay with that.

He was in his very-early twenties. He wasn't ready for a kid. He wasn't ready for responsibility. Heck, he's in his mid-twenties now and he's still not ready for a kid or responsibility.

And I'm alright with that. I'm capable and willing enough to accept responsibility for both of us.

I'm okay with the fact that I get to be selfish about my son.

I don't have to share him.

There are no weeks or weekends that he goes to live with another parent. There are no holiday schedules to work around. If, someday, I want to move, it won't be a problem because there will be no other parent to work around. If someday my friend wants to move, there will be no problem because it won't affect the little boy whose heart would otherwise be devastated.

If, someday, I get married and my son ever wants to take the name of my husband instead of his PaPaw's last name (which will be Ty's choice, not mine, as I'd be just fine if Ty carried on the name that otherwise would have died out with my dad and his brother) then there will be no dad to consult, approve, or have his feelings hurt by that decision.

I'm okay with the way things worked out. Ty's 'genetic donor' is okay with the way things have worked out. And Ty doesn't know any other way but the way things have worked out.

I assure you, my little boy has not suffered from not having a Daddy.

And I'm confident that his Daddy-less state won't always be the case.

Someday he'll have a Daddy.

Someday a great and wonderful man will come along and he'll love Ty so much that it will make up for the years that Ty did without a Daddy.

And in the meantime, he has my Daddy to borrow from, and I can't think of a better Daddy he could have!

(I am partial.)

But Ty doesn't have a Daddy.

And I don't say that as a bad thing. And on the occasions that Ty states that, he doesn't say it as a bad thing either.

It's just a fact and should be said as a fact.

But sometimes facts change.

And someday that one will, too.

Boob or Bottle?

I've read more than one blog lately that are on one side or the other of the breast-feeding drama that continually plagues the world of motherhood.

Why is is that this is such a heated topic?

I can't help but scratch my head at why one woman would think she has the right to label me and other bottle-feeding mothers as "bad mothers" simply because breast-feeding wasn't the decision we made--for one reason or another.

I have no right to label such women as 'obsessive', 'judgmental', 'critical' or 'fanatical'. Why should I?

We have a difference of opinions

While I give props to the women all over the world who knew that breastfeeding was hands-down what was right for her and her child and who could commit to the time, dedication and discipline it takes to breast-feed, I also give props to the women around the world who can stand up to the pressure and name-calling and go "You know's just not for me".

That was my decision.

It wasn't for me.

I didn't like the idea, I wasn't comfortable with the idea, and--in my opinion--there was no good-outweighing-the-bad to make me even consider the idea.

I was bottle fed and I'm a healthy, brilliant woman.

I didn't suffer in any way, shape, or form.

But yet I was verbally abused because of my decision to give my child souped-up formula that is sometimes more nutritionally complete than breast milk. I saw it as a win-win for me. I could eat what I wanted, feedings weren't limited to me-and-only-me, and I knew without a doubt that my child was getting--nutritionally--everything that he should be getting, plus all sorts of good enzymes and such that my body may or may not be supplying enough of. Where was the bad in this?

Oh, and I didn't have cracked, sore, or bleeding boobs. So yay for that, too, because I had enough on my plate with a less-than-ideal recovery from my cesarean.

And as it turns out, I might not have been able to breast-feed anyway because of all of the souped up antibiotics and pain-killers I wound up on.

But yet I was told that I didn't love my child.

I was told that I was condemning my child to poor health and sickness.

I was told that I was a bad mother.

But look at me now?

There's not a thing about me that qualifies as a bad mother.

And look at my child.

My healthy, happy, intelligent, and active child.

Where is he worse off than a breast-fed baby?

How is he less loved than a breast-fed baby?

Breastfeeding isn't a requirement. It's a choice.

And I feel I made the right choice for me and my son.

I don't get where that gives me the right to call anyone else names, and I certainly don't get where that gives anyone else the right to call me a name.

We're mothers.

That's the only name we need.

And those of us that are good mothers make the decisions we feel in our heart is the best decision for our child and our family.

Good mothers can see that sometimes what's best for someone else's child isn't necessarily what's best for our child.

Thinking it Through

I've been kinda "off the scene" this week...and last week while I was under-the-weather.

I'm still kinda recovering in the sense that my every abdominal muscle screams bloody murder at me over inconsequential stuff simply because they're sick-and-tired (as am I) of the continual coughing for now two weeks.

Oh, and I can't seem to get any energy built back up whatsoever.

It's like my first trimester of pregnancy.

But without the pregnant part.

I promise you, no pregnant part. The statute of limitations ran out on that possibility like a gazillion years ago.

But I'm still here and I'm mulling over a million things in my head.

For one, blogging about my Faith.

My Faith and my Beliefs are a very important part of me and my life and I want to write about those things, but at the same time, this is kinda my Mommy Blog to do with life and pictures and The Boy and all that stuff and while there's no separating God from my life (nor should there be) this blog is--in my heart and my mind--lighter and more I dunno....lacking-deep-thought than a blog about my beliefs should be.

So I'm thinking about starting a second blog that's solely for me to write about my beliefs and my views on God and Christianity and such. Of course that blog will be linked to this blog and this blog linked to that blog because I don't feel the need to 'hide' any part of my life from another part of my life. I'm me, and both blogs are a part of me. Which makes me go back and forth on the whole one blog versus two blogs thing.

I dunno.

I'm mulling over it.

And in other topics of thought.



The long story short of it is that earlier this year I was messaging and texting with a guy that's from this area but moved off about an hour away. He came over and hung out and I went to where he lives and we hung out and we just had a great time and hit it off and things were good.

And then they weren't and he vanished.

And it was just kind of "end of story" like that. I couldn't be too mad because, to be honest, I've pulled the disappearing act on guys before, so it was kinda this "getting a dose of your own medicine" type thing for me.

Well, we've been texting again every day for several weeks now.

Only texting.

Which is weird, but convenient, too. I'm not big on phone calls, especially if I may or may not have something to say. But I just get tired of holding a phone to my ear after about 2 minutes.


I'm so not a girl in so many ways that it should be scary, but I'm so 100% girl in all the ways that it matters that I'm okay with it.

But that's a rabbit that I can chase at another point in time.

There's just this big question mark in the air over my head about the whole thing. But I'm trying not to think about the questions of "Is he texting me everyday because he's into me or because he thinks I'm a pretty rockstar person and would make a good friend?".

I don't know.

And to be honest, I've told myself to quit thinking about it. After the vanishing act in March no matter what happens it'll be all in his court.

So he's filed away as strictly a friend and if there ever comes a day when he comes to me and lets me know he wants to be relocated to another category, then I'll pull all these unanswered questions out, mull them over, and then see where to go from there.

But saying that is easier than doing that because, after all, I am still a girl.

Which sucks about as much as it rocks.

So, that's life for me right now.

Oh, and baby boy got a few new characters in his Thomas collection this week.

Emily and Duncan joined the family this week, bringing his total to...umm...six. Three Thomases, a Percy, and now Emily and Duncan.

And I snapped a picture or two of him playing with his trains.

I would say ignore the messes in his floor, but let's be honest, he's a boy. This is CLEAN!

So that's it for my world! I promise I'll be better about updating this week!

Child's Play

Reading quotes is a hobby of mine.

I've been collecting quotes since I was 12 years old and have accumulated many of my favorites together in a database I built six years ago simply titled "Ashley's Book of Quotes".

This 'book' serves me and my friends well in times of trial and difficulties, but is also something I like to pull up and look over 'just because'. You never know when you're going to gaze across something that touches your heart just so. I've found this to be true every time I look through my quotes or look to add new quotes, as I was doing today.

I have every category of quote imaginable almost. Love quotes, heartbreak quotes, wisdom quotes, growing quotes, quotes for hard times, quotes for suffering, quotes for inspiration, women quotes, men quotes, work quotes, ideals and name it and I can probably pull a half-dozen quotes simply off the top of my head for just about any topic....let me open up my quote book and I can give you more.

Unless you ask me about a quote for kids.

Then I can probably only pull up 5-6 quotes. Period.

So, as a Mama, that obviously has to change. How can a subject so near and dear to my heart be so absent from something that I consider to characterize me so completely?

So that must be fixed.

And I found some wonderful quotes that I just wanted to share with the rest of you, too!


We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today.
Stacia Tauscher
Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it.
Harold Hulbert
A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm.
Bill Vaughan
Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music.
William Stafford
In the United States today, there is a pervasive tendency to treat children as adults, and adults as children. The options of children are thus steadily expanded, while those of adults are progressively constricted. The result is unruly children and childish adults.
Thomas Szasz
Boy, n.: a noise with dirt on it.
Not Your Average Dictionary
While we try to teach our children all about life,
Our children teach us what life is all about.
Angela Schwindt
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.
Phyllis Diller
The only thing worth stealing is a kiss from a sleeping child.
Joe Houldsworth
There's nothing that can help you understand your beliefs more than trying to explain them to an inquisitive child.
Frank A. Clark
It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.
Frederick Douglass
The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old.
Joan Kerr, Please Don't Eat the Daisies, 1957
Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body.
Elizabeth Stone
What children expect from grownups is not to be 'understood', but only to be loved, even though this love may be expressed clumsily or in sternness. Intimacy does not exist between generations - only trust.
Carl Zucker
What's done to children, they will do to society.
Karl Menninger
You know children are growing up when they start asking questions that have answers.
John J. Plomp
If you as parents cut corners, your children will too. If you lie, they will too. If you spend all your money on yourselves and tithe no portion of it for charities, colleges, churches, synagogues, and civic causes, your children won't either. And if parents snicker at racial and gender jokes, another generation will pass on the poison adults still have not had the courage to snuff out.
Marian Wright Edelman

Back in the Saddle

I cannot seem to get back into the swing of things as far as anything is concerned.

My yard is dangerously close to knee-high, my sink is full of dishes waiting on my (full) dishwasher to be unloaded and then re-loaded. My luggage is still in my living room waiting to be carried out to the storage building, and that's just all things home. And only a few of them at that.

What has happened to my mojo?

Oh, and have I mentioned that my boy starts school in two weeks?

Pre-K, but still.

I'm not ready.

Well, I mean, I am because I have these great illusions of how wonderful it will be to have a scheduled routine and such like that in our lives and then I come back down to earth and realize that if we don't have scheduled routine as it is, it's probably not going to happen.

But it's a lovely dream.

And speaking of dreams.

Here's a weird one for you (yes, this blog is all over the place, I told you I've lost my mojo!).

So I dreamed last night that an ex got a girl pregnant and they had an itsy bitsy teeny baby girl and she was ohsocuteandsweetandpreciousandIcouldhavejusteatenherup!

The weird part?

Oh, the ex decided that he wanted me to raise the baby. And his family and my family were okay with it and they all thought that I could just raise the girl (whose birth mother apparently didn't have a say in the situation or didn't care one) and I could just tell the little girl when she was old enough that she wasn't really my child.

And for some reason I was okay with it in the dream because it was a baby and it was a little girl and it's not looking like I'll get to have another one of my own anytime soon.

So I was getting into the swing of the whole no-sleep all the while trying to figure out how I was going to explain this to Ty.

Thank goodness I don't get into half the trouble in real life that I manage to get myself into in dreams!

Okay, I better get some work done.

If you happen to find my mojo laying around anywhere, let a girl know?