How Times Change

We got a new comptuer recently and the shift of files has me sorting through old documents that I have but have forgotten about.

Once such document was the following (possibly still unpublished) blog from 2008 which has me laughing at how quickly time and circumstance can completely change a person.

Enjoy!  I know I did!

I read an article on Yahoo earlier that’s bounced around in my noggin all day waiting at the depot to get on the right train of thought.

Wouldn’t you know that train left the station when I was in the shower and unable to get my fingers on a keyboard.

The article was on men and why so many of them choose to be lifelong bachelors instead of getting married and settling down.

The reason: They feared a bad marriage more than they feared being alone.

And this is where I get my feathers all in a ruffle because I have this certain relationship with the male species and it just drives me nuts.

Have you ever known two people that have SO much in common and yet they just can’t get along for the love of all things Pure and Holy? That’s me and men. The older I get the more I find that I have in common with that gender.

Conflict resolution, for instance. I have two methods of conflict resolution. The “pretend it never happened” approach or the “ignore it and it’ll go away” tactic. Very rarely will you ever know me to want to talk something to its death like almost 100% of women typically want to do. I just don’t have it in me. Growing up I was on the other end of those conversations quite frequently which is why I’ve gradually steered clear of many female friendships. Girls want to hash it all out, get it all out in the open, cry it to death, and then giggle and fuss over how silly the whole thing was.

Do you know how draining that is?

Someone tells me “We need to talk” and I just want to skip right to the tears, I’d run away if I could, but those words have this way of instantly zapping all energy from my body. (Note to self: possible strategy in warfare…..)

You lot really are quite high maintenance. And I know this is a case of the whole pot and kettle thing, but seriously….

Anyway. Moving back to my original train of thought.

It seems to be a new concept these days that some people might exist that don’t particularly want to get married or don’t hang their hopes and dreams on the notion of achieving wedded bliss. And heaven forbid that person might be a female! I mean, sure a man might not want to give up his bachelorhood for the sake of one woman to nag him for all the days of his life (I’m sure it’s a completely misguided notion on his part, too)……but a woman that doesn’t hand over life and limb for the sake of entering into matrimony borders on sacrilege to the people of the world.

All drama aside, let me raise my hand and say that I’m scandalously one of those women. I haven’t always been that way, and I may not always be that way. But here and now, I have more important things to worry about than “landing a man”.

Sure, I like a sappy chick flick just as much as any girl. It’s nice to read a lovey-dovey romance novel every now and again. But when I lay my head on my pillow at night and get down to what’s really important to me…..a man and marriage just don’t enter into that picture.

My son’s at the first and foremost. How could I want, much less ask for, more when I’ve been given so much just in that little boy. Sure, I have good days and bad days with him, but at the end of every day I just can’t see loving a man as much as I love this little piece of my heart and soul. Perhaps that’s why first comes love, second comes marriage, THEN comes the baby in the baby carriage; because my heart is so full of love for my snuggly little boy that it needs little other to be complete, and those things that it does need—God, family, friends……well, it’s more than full with those, too

I have it all.

How could I want more? How could a man complete me any more than I already am

This notion that we need someone else to complete us; that we need someone else to really live a life worth living….it’s just a little bit offending to me. It’s not that I’m afraid of getting hurt again, it’s not that I just don’t want to try, and it’s certainly not that I don’t think I could find someone to make me happy….it’s just that I love who I am and I love where I am in my life and I just don’t think there’s much improving on it.

I have all I could ever want.

Anything else would be too much.

Did you make it through that with a straight face?

Cause I didn't. 

Who is that person?!

I think this is definitely one of those instances where you sit back, look at your former self and realize that you truly don't know what you're missing until you wake up one morning and realize what you have.


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About The Author
Ashley Wife & Mom

Ashley is a thirty-something wife and mother of two boys. She enjoys spending time with her family, as well as reading and decorating their home. Her blogging adventures began in 2006 as a single mother and have carried on through marriage and a new life with a husband, a teenager, and a pre-schooler.