Crack Kitten

I woke up at 5:00 a.m. this morning to the many noises of Link, our cat.  He's a loving, well-behaved kitten until almost exactly 5:00 every morning.  Apparently this is the time he has his kitty coffee and kicks into hyper speed.

Crack Kitty is what we call it.

This hasn't been a problem before now because for the last four years I've slept with ear plugs.  Now that the husband has dropped almost 50 pounds in the last three months (take a moment to think about how incredible that is!), he no longer snores and for the sake of my ears, I need to get used to sleeping without ear plugs again.

Which is why the kitten that I usually love and dote on in the mornings is getting scowls and growls from me these days.

This morning he started in on the wooden blinds in our room.  He likes to get behind them and look out, which isn't a problem except that they're heavy and bulky and the bang and clang around when he gets in them.  And when you have one more precious hour of sleep, it's a most unwelcome interruption. 

So I start thinking about what I can do to keep him from being able to get in the blinds in our room.  There are plenty of other blinds on that side of the house that can afford him a view of the dog, he just needs to know that he's not welcome to use the view from our room anymore.

So I'm thinking that I could get some pieces of plexi glass in 5"x18" strips and use L-brackets to mount them to the inside of the window pane where it blocks him from getting his paw behind the blinds to pop them out and let him on the other side.  Cheap and easy and since they would be hidden behind the curtains, it wouldn't be very noticeable.

Once I got the cat to accept that I would cause severe harm to him if he didn't get out of the blinds, he expressed his angst with me by clawing on the side of the bed until I swatted at him.  After that, he decided he'd rather jump up on the bed directly on top of me anyway.  I silently fumed for a moment before swatting him away.

In that moment I envisioned what could be my best invention ever if I had more of an inclination for tinkering.  This invention can be customized for your needs and for the behaviors of your cat, so for those of you who have a cat that 'cracks out' at a certain time of night, you can set the device for that particular time.  In our instance, apparently Link's witching hour is 5:00 a.m., so that's what time I would set ours for.  At shortly before 5:00 a.m. this device would use a variety of sensors to locate the cat and physically catapult/eject the cat from the room. 

Instead of doing just that to the cat that was still—at this time—perched in the middle of my back, I just swatted him off.  He took this as his cue to engage his turbo boosters and spend the next twenty minutes jingling his way through the house at top speed.

This cat is going to be the death of me.  Or him.